Romance 101- Class in Session
“The art of making love is more an attitude of the heart, than an act of the flesh!”
“Until the masks drops off and the wax removed, every date is a blind one!”
I’m a hopeless, incurable, irredeemable romantic, and proud of it. Since “the art of making love” quote above took on life quite some time ago, it has been met with both passionate embrace and laser-like derision. Those that “get it,” are clearly in the camp of the romantics. Words like intensity and passion take on a meaning that defies human understanding. Those who don’t, are missing out on one of life’s great treasures. Not surprisingly, the overwhelming number of those whose hearts resonate with it, are women. Man, do I ever love women!
There’s no better place to start anything, especially things of life-changing value, than at the beginning, hence the title of this month’s blog. To be thoroughly transparent, I suppose the thing that makes me eminently qualified to write on such a delicate and misunderstood topic such as this, is really quite simple…..looking back, I’ve made all the mistakes, bought into all the delusions and needed first, to question and then unlearn what I had accepted as truth. I first needed to put on a “beginner’s mind,” to be an enemy of all that I held up to that time to be factual. It was one of the best investments I’ve ever made. It will be for you also. I promise! You say you want true romance in your life? Then listen up and pay attention. Let’s get started.
- Romance and things romantic are as different as night and day. The former is a creation of the heart, imbued with the endless aroma of eternity, whereas the latter is a temporal sensory illusion. After a couple leaves a fine dining restaurant, with all of its accoutrements, departs a world-class cruise ship after seven days at sea, preparing to ready herself for her next visitors, or exits a fully adorned hotel room, replete with a heart-shaped whirlpool and mirror over the bed, what then? The romantic delusion, the sleight of hand, immediately begins to fade, eventually enveloped into that of a distant memory. What remains of romance? Unless true romance preceded the romantic trappings, you may as well have gone to a fast food restaurant, rented a boat for a week or stayed at a Motel 6. After a short time, it will feel as if you had. Besides, if true romance were something to be purchased, then only the financially well off could ever experience it.
- Nothing in life remains neutral, including true romance. It’s constantly either growing and thriving or diminishing and withering. The one leads to life, the other, to death! There can be no other outcome, and it’s a two-person sport. It’s a team thing, a 2-way street. True romance always is. and it’s accretive. You doubt this at your peril.
- Always be making emotional deposits. True romance is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year commitment, and it occurs on so many levels – actually looking into the eyes of your partner and joyfully inviting them to speak what words alone could never convey, or holding hands in such a way that communicates that there is no one else in this world that you would rather be with, or a loving whisper that is meant only for the ears of that one special person, or deep listening, the art of not just hearing words spoken, but seeking first to understand what resides behind them. True romance goes far beyond opening a door for another, giving up your seat or pushing in their chair. What occurs first vertically in a multitude of ways, determines the intensity and celebration of what follows horizontally.
- True romance gains in intensity as there are less physical distractions, not more. While certain creature comforts and frills can certainly add to the moment, it’s critical to not put your confidence in them, but rather to call them out for what they are – magic tricks, delusions, a fantasy.
- Taking the love of your life to a fine dining restaurant with an ambience that is simply breathtaking, no more makes you a romantic than going into a deli makes you a bagel. If you weren’t one before, you most definitely won’t be one as you depart.
- No amount of money, nor the depths of human creativity, can hope to replicate that which has no beginning and no end. You can’t buy true romance, study for it, nor steal it from others. You can only open your heart to receive it from the AUTHOR of ROMANCE – and wait. It will most assuredly arrive right on time.
- True romance can only be directed toward one person at a time. They and they alone must get “all of you!” Just like multi-tasking, it’s impossible to do two things well at the same time. You’ll simply end up doing two or more things half-assed. If that special someone isn’t in your life yet, keep on looking. It’s worth everything! There may not be many who desire what you earnestly seek, but you’re only inviting in one.
So my dear friend, I sincerely hope the above blesses your heart – and your life. I close with this:
“May your romantic experience be as healing waters, without beginning and without end!”
IMPORTANT: I would be most grateful if you would share this post with others and if you would post a comment below.
Books by Alan E. Freedman, available on Amazon (COPY and PASTE URL’s to your browser and ENTER):
The Walk – goo.gl/yZaS7S
My Weekly Walk – goo.gl/KBFTy2